hi, i'm roselle
i've always been torn between wanting to tell my story to everyone and let them know exactly what is in my head, or keeping it to myself. the problem is, being outwardly unhappy pushes people away, no matter if they say they're always there to listen. i mean of course i have a couple of friends that i trust with the world, but there is only so much your friends can listen to. but on the other hand, to pretend everything is fine when it's really not is to lie to yourself from the inside out; to ignore who you are and lose yourself. so which is better? to have people thinking you are melodramatic or just seeking attention, or to drown in your own mind and live a lie? im not one of those people who are constantly depressed, i mean, im actually usually happy. either way, this is my story. this is where i can post exactly whats on my mind, and if you dont like it, if you think i'm pessimistic, or over-emotional, then i guess thats up to you.

i can survive it all. “i am not an unusual teenager. i’ve never been given an award for anything special or nominated for an important position. i’ve had my share of problems and like most teenage girls, spent countless nights crying over lost friendships, unrequited love and just everyday teenage stress.


one night i was watching a show on tv about an angel. the angel was trying to convince one of the characters not to kill himself. the man thought that dying was the easiest way out. i thought about how many times i have considered the same thing. i put my finger up to my pulse. a thought struck me: this is what will keep me alive. no matter how many breakups i go through, no matter how many times my “dream” soccer team rejects me and no matter how many times i can’t pull off my “i’m tough and don’t cry” attitude, that pulse will still be there. blood will still be pumped through my body. i can survive.

this isn’t to say that i will never think about quitting or never go through a day where all hope seems to be lost. but there is one thing i know for sure: in the times of greatest sorrow, or melancholy, or hopelessness, or lifelessness, i only need one finger to know that i can survive it all. the steady flow of my healthy, fourteen-year-old heart is the most comforting feeling in the world”