hi, i'm roselle
i've always been torn between wanting to tell my story to everyone and let them know exactly what is in my head, or keeping it to myself. the problem is, being outwardly unhappy pushes people away, no matter if they say they're always there to listen. i mean of course i have a couple of friends that i trust with the world, but there is only so much your friends can listen to. but on the other hand, to pretend everything is fine when it's really not is to lie to yourself from the inside out; to ignore who you are and lose yourself. so which is better? to have people thinking you are melodramatic or just seeking attention, or to drown in your own mind and live a lie? im not one of those people who are constantly depressed, i mean, im actually usually happy. either way, this is my story. this is where i can post exactly whats on my mind, and if you dont like it, if you think i'm pessimistic, or over-emotional, then i guess thats up to you.

just like the old days, except everything was different now. "When I was 7 years old, I broke my wrist. I had gotten in a fight with Tommy Maducci over whether GI Joe was stronger than He-Man. Tommy had insisted that because I was a girl, I didn't know what I was talking about. To prove him wrong, I punched him in the nose. He came and pushed me off the jungle gym. My wrist was broken and in a cast. Even though I was one of the few girls in my neighbourhood, I wouldn't call myself a tomboy.

On Sunday afternoons, I'd go play baseball with Tommy, who I had forgiven for the playground incident. Tommy and I soon became best friends -- we built skateboard mini ramps, mowed lawns together in the summers, and shared slurpees and candy bars.

Through elementary school, everything was cool. Tommy could care less if girls had cooties and I didn't see boys as anything but playmates. But one day we woke up and we were teenagers. Tommy stopped calling me after school and I traded my skateboarding shoes for flip-flops and bought myself a skirt. We said "hello" on the bus and partnered up in science class, but that was it. Tommy flirted with girls in class and I rolled my eyes. It was annoying to me the way Tommy smiled at girls. He didnt smile at me like that. While skateboarding after school, I thought about Tommy.

One day I went down to the park, where we used to skateboard, hoping that he would be there. The ramp was gone and Tommy was nowhere to be found. The next day at school he was holding hands with Kelly Nicholson. I hated them both. What made her hangout-worthy? One day Tommy came up to my table during lunch with some of his new guy friends. "Hey Zoe, how's it going?" he said. "My friends and I are all gonna skate after school if you want to come." Skating sounded like fun, so I agreed. When I arrived, Tommy's friends were already there. Kelly Nicholson came with Tommy. They were an "item" but I knew it would never last. "Hey Zoe, I bet you can't do a crooked grind off that ledge," one of his friends said. "Yes I can," I huffed. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and pushed off. I made my way up onto the ledge, but lost my balance and fell backwards, my skateboard launching into the air, feel twisted up and arms outstretched.

Instead of breaking my fall, I broke my wrist. I closed my eyes, trying to hold back my tears. When I opened my eyes, Tommy was next to me. His eyes were wide and he looked scared. He yelled for his friend to get his mom and we drove to the hospital. Tommy put his arm around me, "Be brave, Zoe. We're almost there." It turned out that I had broken my wrist in the same place as when I hit Tommy in 2nd grade. The doctors put my wrist in a cast and sent me home. Tommy stayed with me the whole time. "Because of me, you've broken your wrist twice," he said.
"It isn't your fault. Sometimes things just happen." I replied.
"Well you know what I think?" Tommy pulled an old Barbie off my shelf, head shaved on the sides.
"That's Mohawk Barbie," I laughed.
"Oh yeah? Well I bet Mohawk Barbie is stronger than GI Joe and He-Man put together" Tommy dropped the doll on the floor and looked over at me.

And with that, Tommy Maducci kissed me. Right there with me and my big ugly arm cast, hair unwashed, stinky sneakers on the floor. The room started spinning, my knees got weak, and boy was I glad I broke my wrist. "What about your girlfriend?" I asked.
"She's not my girlfriend anymore." he said.
"Yeah, she wasn't your type anyway," I laughed.
"Nope," he said.
That afternoon, we took a walk down to the old 7-Eleven at the edge of the neighbourhood. Tommy held my casted hand the whole way, and bought me a slurpee and a candy bar. Just like the old days, except everything was different now."

- Zoe Graye, from Chicken Soup for the Soul: Teens Talk Relationships.

some things on my mind. - i didnt straighten my hair today, therefore it kinda looks like pubic hair.
- i like you, but you're getting weird.
- i should probably start studying seeing as exams start tomorrow.
- i am currently reading a teen magazine. i dont feel like myself today.
- im soon taking down all the twilight shit from my room. its starting to piss me off.
- i need to go shopping in the usa soon cause theres no hot topic in canada.
- if i dont ace my english exam, i will fail grade nine english.
- red american apparel sweater, $52. im too poor. :'(
- after all these years, im still mildly obsessed with the powerpuff girls.


hey bestfriend. jake:
so whats a cute girl like you doing? ;)
roselle:
just on the computer. whats a cute boy like you doing? ;)
jake:
just chilling with a guitar and texting a really cute girl
roselle:
ohreally? im texting a really cute boy too :)
jake:
aww well i think the girl im texting is probably waay cuter than the boy you are
roselle:
noo, i think he's cuter :)
jake:
well i think this girl and this boy should probably bang
roselle:
yeah i think so too. LOL.
jake:
so whats the guys name cause the girls name is really sexy ;)
roselle:
his name is JAKE. :)
jake:
thats not that hot. the girls name is ROSELLE. OMG THATS SUCH A SEXY NAME.

jussstexting. i dont know why i found that entertaining.

:$ alright so i just noticed, i change my blog skin like three times a week.

today i learned some interesting information about a certain someone.
and they learned some interesting information about me.
and he knows that i know that interesting information about him.
and i know that he knows that interesting information about me.
so all in all, tomorrows gonna be awkward. whatevr.

ps. i like texting you :$♥

bhaha. hello there. :D


i dont know. so i went over to kailyns house after school, and we watched paranormal activity. stupid movie. boring, and wasnt scary. dont bother watching it.
i felt kinda ripped off cause paranormal activity was shit. so then i watched mirrors, and it was actually like an amazing movie. and it was scaaary.

and jacob's mad at me because i didnt sit on his lap on the bus yesterday.

the end.

whuddup. kay so atm, im having a full conversation with jake about whether or not mermaids can bang, and how. do mermaids lay eggs?

so com tech was flippin funny today. me, duncan, and laura just spent the whole time looking at google suggestions. we typed in "laura's" and one of the suggestions was 'laura's playhouse'. i then discovered that lauras playhouse is a support site for transsexuals.
we also came across 'laura's lean beef'. ohhhh hot damn.
so then it was english, and we watched the original romeo and juliet movie. romeo looks like zac efron. juliet looks like a 9 year old with huuuuge tits, mercutio had the skinniest legs i've ever seen, and friar lawrence was just... cool. all the men wore leotards back then apperently. nice junk.
so then it was comprehensive arts, and for the entire period we layed down on mats on the floor, closed our eyes, and listened to the sound of the ocean waves on a cd. no big deal.
then it was french and me, laura, jake, and leslie drew a poster of a hungover hooker turtle. and leslie tripped over a chair and landed face-first on the floor. cool.

tomorrow is kailyn's birthday. i would stay up till midnight to be the first to say happy birthday, but its like 11, so im already only gonna get like six hours of sleep.
seeyuh.

happy fifteenth, natalie. i laaav you. alright so once upon a time, i was in grade one, and i met the craziest weirdest creepiest chick i have ever met in my entire life. her name is natalie carlone.
AND YOU GOTTA BE BESTFRIENDS WITH THE WEIRDEST CHICK IN THE CLASS. so yeah. she eventually became my bestest friend.
so by grade three we were like, pretty close. it was me, you, selena, klarissa, and other random people that i forget. we'd play skipping at recess, and hopskotch, and build snow forts, and play with mud, and other common things that third graders enjoy doing. we made up nicknames for eachother such as 'natty', 'rosie', 'seeney', and 'kli-kluh', because we thought those were the cutest names in the entire world, obviously.
and then it was my birthday and i was only allowed to invite like three people, so i invited everyone in our group except you because i liked you the least :). and i remember we were pretending we were the characters from Grease, and we were singing the parts from the song summer lovin' or whatever, and you said i had to be the boy so i ran away and cried .
then it was grade four, and i kinda drifted out of your group, but me and you were the best of friends in grade five.
in grade five, we became friends with jessie i think. she was in our class. mr. elias's fifth grade class. mr. elias wasn't very fond of me, but i wasnt the best student either. i remember him sending me to the office because i wasn't doing my multiplication worksheet. and when he finally gave me the 'Student of the Week' award in like june, he wrote on the certificate "I didn't want to give you this award earlier, because i felt it would be a bad example towards the other students". thanks mr. elias.
remember in grade six when you and keir were "boyfriend and girlfriend"? you had a stable 3 week relationship. i think he was disappointed he didnt get any action.
i remember your christmas party in grade seven. we were KINDA COOL slowdancing with boys in your basement, roffffl wtf. and when we played spin the bottle. but of course we had a secret code, just incase your mom or dad could hear us. instead of a 'kiss', we called it an 'iphone' and i have nooo clue why.
grade eight was my favourite year. mr. cosmo put us on opposite sides of the classroom so that we wouldn't distract eachother... so during work periods i'd get out of my desk, and just walk over to yours and start talking. i think mr.cosmo got tired of reminding us to sit down at our own seats.
remember that project we did about the 1980's? i didnt think crimping my hair and wearing bright clothes would be that fun. it was. and we had fun laughing at one of the ugly chicks in our group as she tried to look as sexy and seductive as possible as she strutted down tabithas hallway, pretending to be a model.
what else was fun in grade eight? OH YEAH WHEN WE WERE ASKED OUT ON THE SAME DAY BY THE CREEPIEST GUYS.
speaking of creepy guys, remember when i was dating him, and at tabithas house we left that voicemail on his cell, sincing the pokemon theme song? that was like the best day ever. and when we prankcalled him and tabitha talked in the chinese accent, asking how many springrolls he wanted with his chicken fried rice. and when we got lucas welcz to leave that message saying shit to him in polish. lmao wtf.
and you never hesitated to make fun of my ex over msn. i still have that conversation saved on my computer. "i'm the immature one here? says the guy who randomly lays down on the grass at wonderland?"... "i love how it takes this long to press 'block'"
summer2009 was fun too. i remember going over to your house, and i let you do my makeup. that was... interesting. i ate dinner with your family looking like that. playing dressup and camwhoring at your house was funny shit.
the last time i saw you was flippin' HALLOWEEN. we went trick-or-treating together, and of course you were dressed up as hannah montana. we left a fucking ten minute message on kyle's cellphone, talking about how i feel sorry for his new girlfriend. heeehe. we should have egged his house :D

SO, you're one of my best friends in the entire world. and im flippin glad i met you in grade one. i miss you like crazy, and love you to death.


sup 2010 . ight so i havent posted on this in about a million zillion years. and thats a long time.
its new years day. not that i really care or anything.
and i have a question... what happens when you drink alchohol and then take advil?
cause i just did that on accident, and i dont know whats gonna happen to me. my bad.
i'll google it.

so christmas was alright i guess. i didnt get anything i wanted, but whatever.
i got money, so i am content.
and i got new clothes with that money, so i am extra content. super content, even.

christmas break is almost over. theres like three days left, and i kinda hate my life.
lol we had culminatings and they're due like the first week back, and i havent started any of them .
but i dont give two shits cause im gonna fail anyway.
i just realized that i reallly need a new blog skin thing.
i had things planned to talk about, but i kinda lost them in my brain. i'll probably find them tomorrow

PCE .